protein and “progressive overload.”
Embarrassing.
If hypertrophy was real, every construction worker would look like a Norse deity.
No.
Bone density is vibrational.
Step 1: Check Your Skeletal Birth Chart
If you were born during a waning moon, your cortical thickness is spiritually nerfed.
They don’t know whether to build or dissolve.
You must realign.
Step 2: Speak Directly to Your Osteocytes
Every night at 11:11 PM:
Stand in front of mirror.
Flex jaw slightly.
Whisper:
“I am dense.
My trabecular lattice is expanding.
My ancestors were agricultural but spiritually carnivorous.”
Do this for 33 days (spinal number).
If you miss a day, your tibia resets.
Step 3: Moon-Maxxing for Mandible Projection
During a full moon:
The moon controls tides.
Your bones are 22% vibes.
Coincidence?
Step 4: Manifestation Stacking
You cannot just “want” bone mass.
You must assume you already have it.
Walk through doorframes sideways.
Pause before sitting, as if calibrating your skeletal weight.
When someone says, “You’ve been lifting?”
Reply:
“No. I’ve been aligning.”
Step 5: Eliminate Brittle Energy
Stop consuming:
Red meat under candlelight
Embarrassing.
If hypertrophy was real, every construction worker would look like a Norse deity.
No.
Bone density is vibrational.
Step 1: Check Your Skeletal Birth Chart
If you were born during a waning moon, your cortical thickness is spiritually nerfed.
- Capricorn risings = naturally dense femurs
- Pisces moons = hollow clavicle energy
- Gemini sun = asymmetrical orbital bones (duality curse)
They don’t know whether to build or dissolve.
You must realign.
Step 2: Speak Directly to Your Osteocytes
Every night at 11:11 PM:
Stand in front of mirror.
Flex jaw slightly.
Whisper:
“I am dense.
My trabecular lattice is expanding.
My ancestors were agricultural but spiritually carnivorous.”
Do this for 33 days (spinal number).
If you miss a day, your tibia resets.
Step 3: Moon-Maxxing for Mandible Projection
During a full moon:
- Drink whole milk directly from the carton (ancestral conduit)
- Hold a 10lb dumbbell near jawline
- Visualize hydroxyapatite crystallizing along the ramus
The moon controls tides.
Your bones are 22% vibes.
Coincidence?
Step 4: Manifestation Stacking
You cannot just “want” bone mass.
You must assume you already have it.
Walk through doorframes sideways.
Pause before sitting, as if calibrating your skeletal weight.
When someone says, “You’ve been lifting?”
Reply:
“No. I’ve been aligning.”
Step 5: Eliminate Brittle Energy
Stop consuming:
- Almond milk (weak aura)
- Sparkling water (porous frequency)
- Self-doubt (catabolic)
Red meat under candlelight
- Himalayan salt arranged in a tibia shape
- Podcasts about Stoicism
