Hello fellow looksmaxxers, some of you know me, most don't.
This is my manifesto, maybe my last message to all of you.
This does not mean i intent to hurt someone/people or women as i have thought long and hard about how all those scenarios would play out and decided against it.
If i do get the balls to kill myself, I will do it quietly like the loser i am.
This will probally get turned into a meme and joke and so be it.
I've always had friends so im not going to pretend otherwise. Although I had few i cherished them.
My life ever since the age of 9 has just been a living hell. It's so hard.
Despite having friends i've always ended up alone. And the loop hits me harder and harder everytime; amplified even futher when i discovered LM.
Despite having friends i always seemed to ruin everything to the point on me getting left on read, to reply to later. A chore if you will.
I love the friends i've made here but i cant do this anymore
My parents have always made it clear they hated me. I was nothing compared to that of my brother. As much as i tried to cope around it soon i accepted the truth.
I've just been dealt a fucking shit hand and no matter how much i try to ammend it via exogenous hormones, coping, substance abuse.
The loop hit me harder and harder.
And even now i sit here and write this ignorant of the harsh reality.
No one cares.
Not my parents, any "friends" i had, sometimes no matter how hard you have to accept the truth.
You have to accept the fact that if you have to try so hard at a task as easy as making meaningful friendships, its over.
And i know why it is too. I cant even look myself in the mirror anymore. Each day lacks anything intresting, each day nothing happens at all.
My own parents have stated many times im a fuck up. A disgusting pig (when i was more overweight still am like 16% bf but whatever)
An ugly freak, the list goes on you get it.
Every pill there is rapes me, family, money, they all stab me.
This life is fucking hell ive always been neglected since birth. What even was the point of it? To bring me a life full of misery
And it worsens seeing everything i've ever wanted all happen to my brother like he is Gods gift to earth, hes taller, mogs me and has never had any problems with social interactions and relationships like me. I just happen to be the inferior one.
My genetic short-commings have lead to this hell that i cannot escape and its truly over.
I feel sick when i look at myself
Im at rock bottom. I can not handle it anymore. I fucking hate this. I just want this all to be done, to be at peace.
And i know there is nothing for me, no one sad or waiting because im hideous.
No girl, no parents or friends. It's like im nothing; like i dont exist
No one else will keep it real with you, but if you're not atleast MTN and tall its over.
Just accept it. I do not care about your "water". Its over for most of us
Never had a girlfriend or anything close to love.
Im just so tired.
Nothing has ever really gone right for me and maybe that was a sign.
I dont know what my future holds but i hope i can survive this if this is my last message. Thank you everyone for everything.

I need you bhai and love ya also who am I gonna have a spot to chill with if I go over seas
but do NOT kys the assembly will be so awkward
