somehow my boneless ltn myself got a girl thats lwk a baddie like 5'5 around hmtb maybe htb had like 1-2 boyfriends thru all life but thats not about it we were dating for like more than a month and a half and theres been 2 times of her doing this bullshit like "i cant im tired i dont want any relationship" just to comeback next day crying and saying how much she loves me and scared to lose me and rn its been fucking 3rd time like genuinelly 2 days ago after i typed that i wanna fucking rope because of how much i hate my face and because i have Anxious-depressive disorder im alrar bullshit because theres a pattern of her doing it, like she blocked me everywhere and tries to avoid at school i know that shes just feeling bad asf but this shit drives me insane, im actually like made a full chat with chatgpt of sending all the images, all her traits, all the messages just to get some more explanation of what she feels and what will happen it said that theres like 50-60% of her coming back and instead of focusing on her rn i have to focus on myself to make myself more stable or smt like that so she can feel better arround me and have less problems of trying to help me. And the shit is i dont know how to stop thinking about it because its the only person in my life that i could trust, she gave me feeling that someone needs me, that im not alone, that im loved and all that bullshit i was playing games with her, walking outside, i had my first kiss with her and she had it too with me like theres so much memories that i cant forget and cant overall idk why im even typing this bullshit i feel autistic and paranoic i hope she will comeback cuz idk wtf should i do without her i genuinelly became so addicted



