masaijumps
Machiavellian
VelocityAnt¹
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TLDR summary at the bottom
Childhood Struggles
My childhood was ruined because my preferences were different from everyone else's.
I'm 15 years old, 5'11 tall I'm not crazy good-looking, but definitely average or slightly above average.
I was treated like I was autistic in class, hated it, cried a lot in bed, and suffered deeply.
I'm 15 years old, 5'11 tall I'm not crazy good-looking, but definitely average or slightly above average.
I was treated like I was autistic in class, hated it, cried a lot in bed, and suffered deeply.
Discord Girl Experience
Last year in 2024, I had some girl interaction on Discord. Just a week, but she was the reason I was very happy. those Discord chats with her flooded me with an overwhelming, euphoric happiness I'd never known. It felt like my heart was finally alive and bursting with warmth and light for the first time. She taught me that love and a girlfriend mean that pure, intoxicating emotional joy, a deep soul-high far beyond anything physical like sex..
This girl said she doesn't want to talk to me and "she doesn't have guy friends," which is untrue, as I've seen her talk to guys before.
This girl said she doesn't want to talk to me and "she doesn't have guy friends," which is untrue, as I've seen her talk to guys before.
The Fortnite Guy Dynamic
First thing I noticed was that she was already talking to a Fortnite guy, her teammate or something, who she mentioned was very rude and made her feel terrible because he'd put her down and insult/curse her a lot.
This guy was 5'9 and had a face that was Dexter lizard phenotype, aggressive eyes, and a recessed side. But he made up for it by being insanely low-inhib and was like those masculinity coper redpill guys who you would think of as hardworking and genetic losers. He even posted a pic of himself on the Insta pfp while having normie physique with pump in front of a mirror. Turns out they were playing Fortnite for 3+ hours together and despite the abusive dynamic between them, I even saw her beg the guy to play with her. The strange thing was that the guy often screenshot their chats in-game and sent them on the server as if they were trying to get a reaction out of me. Yet the guy was actually quite decent towards me even though I was trying to one-up him and threw subtle shade at him. One day the guy literally typed in-game to her “Bet those cheeks bounce in vc, drop a moan slut". I expected her to leave the game or block him. But nope, she reacted with "blush emoji.” All infront of me btw, not even hiding it.
Every sex joke this guy "not even a friend" was making towards her, she reacted like it was the funniest ever. Then when she left me I was very sad. I learned what a breakup was. Just like that, the oneitis and "pure" girl that I once thought of as a deity ruined my fantasy and threw all my love in the garbage like it was nothing. Then she started leaving me on seen and we won't even meet up.
This guy was 5'9 and had a face that was Dexter lizard phenotype, aggressive eyes, and a recessed side. But he made up for it by being insanely low-inhib and was like those masculinity coper redpill guys who you would think of as hardworking and genetic losers. He even posted a pic of himself on the Insta pfp while having normie physique with pump in front of a mirror. Turns out they were playing Fortnite for 3+ hours together and despite the abusive dynamic between them, I even saw her beg the guy to play with her. The strange thing was that the guy often screenshot their chats in-game and sent them on the server as if they were trying to get a reaction out of me. Yet the guy was actually quite decent towards me even though I was trying to one-up him and threw subtle shade at him. One day the guy literally typed in-game to her “Bet those cheeks bounce in vc, drop a moan slut". I expected her to leave the game or block him. But nope, she reacted with "blush emoji.” All infront of me btw, not even hiding it.
Every sex joke this guy "not even a friend" was making towards her, she reacted like it was the funniest ever. Then when she left me I was very sad. I learned what a breakup was. Just like that, the oneitis and "pure" girl that I once thought of as a deity ruined my fantasy and threw all my love in the garbage like it was nothing. Then she started leaving me on seen and we won't even meet up.
Anime as Coping Mechanism
Then in summer 2025 on TikTok it was appearing romance anime, something that I don’t watch. After many TikToks of the same one, I gave it a chance, even though I didn’t really like anime in general. After finishing, it was beautiful, but I realized it was beautiful because I myself wanted that life. I started watching a lot, and more and more depressed I became. I’ve had no purpose at that point in my life and even tried to rope. Then since then I started laying down in bed and doing nothing all day, would only get out if it was really necessary and would look forward to sleeping only. Every moment is distraction with something and sleep
If I'm conscious , there's so much emptiness and pain in my chest I wanna just stop it at all costs.
If I'm conscious , there's so much emptiness and pain in my chest I wanna just stop it at all costs.
Algo Pull into BP
Then I watched some BP edits, didn't took it seriously at first but I think ascending can help me with my life after watching LightBad
I want to ascend to fix my life. How can I fix my life? I was thinking of peptides so that I might ascend to 6'4+ maybe and get some bonemass to reach tall htn/chad-lite smv but i don't have crypto and parents just give me cash.
will peptides help me & is there something better? Also, could you send it to my local pharmacy?
I can't handle buying directly from the labs via crypto. My parents also track my online transactions as they control all of the payment details.
I want to ascend to fix my life. How can I fix my life? I was thinking of peptides so that I might ascend to 6'4+ maybe and get some bonemass to reach tall htn/chad-lite smv but i don't have crypto and parents just give me cash.
will peptides help me & is there something better? Also, could you send it to my local pharmacy?
I can't handle buying directly from the labs via crypto. My parents also track my online transactions as they control all of the payment details.
TLDR
will peptides help me or do I need something else?
Also, could you send it to my local pharmacy?
I can't handle buying directly from the labs via crypto because my parents also track my online transactions as they control all of the payment details.
Also, could you send it to my local pharmacy?
I can't handle buying directly from the labs via crypto because my parents also track my online transactions as they control all of the payment details.
