sometimes i feel like the weight of human presence presses on me in ways i cant fully explain and moving through public spaces becomes this exhausting maze where every glance and stray word chips away at my focus so i end up withdrawing deeper into myself not because i dislike people, but because the constant swirl of noise and expectatoin drains my energy faster than i can rebuild it and there is something strangely calming about staying in my own quiet corner even if others think it is odd since solitude lets my thoughts stretch out without interference though i still wonder why some folks seem to sail so smoothly through crowds while i stumble emotionally and mentally trying to keep my balance and maybe its not fear exactly but more like a protective instinct that keeps me away from the chaos of social interaction especially when i feel like im barely holding my inner world together and the truth is that avoiding public interactions sometimes feels like the smartest way to preserve a sense of control even if my spelling is a bit off or my thoughts come out messy because at least in solitude i can be honest with myself without the pressure of performing in front of countless strangers. I always feel embarrassed and withdrawn in places outside of my bedroom and the arms of the one person i love. is there any hardmaxxes for this like a lobotomy or smt?
