I can't believe my life, I feel like I'm delusional or schizophrenic. Every day at my school, I see people's visible discomfort from me due to my looks. They seem so disgusted and seem to avoid me. However, I also do my best to avoid them. I don't trust anyone anymore, they have all told everything that I've said to them, or they seem like terrible beings. Everyone seems so evil, I can't handle it anymore. Although I'm complaining about my life, I can't seem to forget the people that are suffering in other places of the world, especially in warzones. I feel bad for the civilians dying in Gaza or the people starving in foreign countries. This world seems so evil, and just a few years ago, I thought it was mostly nice. Now I see so many people in my life that hate me or are disgusted. Once a week, one of my classmates says something about how I look. One girl said "ew" to me and this one girl laughed at my face and said "broooo you look so weirdd" (I mention both of these a lot but theres countless more) I feel like I'm going INSANE. I don't remember people being this rude to me until a few months ago. Whenever I sit next to girls at my school, I try my best to stay as far away from them as I can, because I already know they are disgusted by me. They usually seem to say something to their friends (however I can't hear them) or make faces at their friends once we sit down. The only thing that has helped me with this problem is Christianity, as God is the only thing I can see as pure and good. I avoid everyone as much as I can, I don't want to accidentally touch them. I know if I do, they'll say some shit or be weirded out. I see people make eye contact with everyone when they talk until it comes to me, I know this is because I'm ugly. I don't know why everyone is so rude, or why I my only version of this world is insanely evil. I see so much corruption even outside my own experiences, like warzones or starving people as I mentioned earlier. Theres so much evil and suffering in this world, I don't see any peace in it anymore.
