SYNOPSIS:
Around 2021, when I was 12 yo, I got into a mixed boarding school cause I ditched school and was kinda an hikkikomori ND then when I was 17 I finally got out of the boarding school.
NOW THE REAL STORY
In that boarding school there was this italian algerian girl that was 2 years older than me, her name was Chiara.
Here is me taking her phone when I was around 13yo(she's the skinny one):
We really started having feelings for each other when I was 15 to 16yo (no official relationship
) aka my face began looking better and more grown because of pubertythanks test. At that moment we were lovey dovey together, she made me pancakes, hugged me, she layed her head on my shoulder, she even wanted to kiss me but I refused cause of my neurodivergence(made me cringe kissing and being physical at that time, why did I refuse ) sitting on me blahblah you know the deal.
She also started to look better and better (on the vid she was like a 15yo hMtb and at 17yo she was like an low to mid Htb).
At that moment I knew she was looking at others guys(dates and shi) but I didn't care. Why? Because they were spending money on expensive gifts and foods while I didn't do jack shit to be with her. These guys were like a year or 2 older then Chiara (bruh they were like 3 to 4 years older then me ) with cars, dada's money you name it. At that time,when she was in her 18s, she got out of boarding school, we were still in contact via Snapchat but one day..........
AT that moment I was dooming, I was already kinda blackpilled since I was 12 but this was eye opening. I NEEDED to look better or I would get stuck and cursed with Mtb pussy cheese for the rest of my life while coping. I wasn't really that big of a looksmaxxer, I only did orthodontics(some kind of jaw expander idk how it's called, palate expender and braces), orthotropics (RIP John Mew, you saved my life). I got my sleep right (prior I slept like shit a solid 6-7 hours) and got my protein and milk intake good, got my posture right and tried stretching to grow taller. I knew she blocked because a guy told her so (she did that one day when I was 15 but I finessed my way into her deblocking me and blocking that older guy, bro got cucked by a lil kid).
This experience anchored my view on looksmaxxing and BP, could I get a relationship with a girl if I was a Mtn, poor, living in the slums of the suburbs of Paris. To get a girl that is minimum Htb (below hMtb I only see them as NPC, great to be friends or fuck buddy), I needed to compete with men that are more fortunate then me in terms of looks and height and also older. After that I never talked with a girl the same way.
This is me at 15(ts is the only picture where I looked decent):
As of now I'm 18yo LDARing ,a NEET,fat and in depression since the start of 2025. I made this account because I want to share some infos(probably don't count me on that) ,laugh with you guys and most Importantly I want to lock in and ascend. I'm repeating a grade because of my depression(didn't go to 1/3 of my classes and didn't did finals exams, was still accepted in medecine, chemestry and most Uni that I applied).
I'll consider doing some PEDs like low dose of Anavar, low dose of Tren ,any Ai and some Gh secretagogue (kinda cope tho)
Anyways this is my first post on any looksmaxxing forum, tell me if it's good for a newcomer.
Around 2021, when I was 12 yo, I got into a mixed boarding school cause I ditched school and was kinda an hikkikomori ND then when I was 17 I finally got out of the boarding school.
NOW THE REAL STORY
In that boarding school there was this italian algerian girl that was 2 years older than me, her name was Chiara.
Here is me taking her phone when I was around 13yo(she's the skinny one):
We really started having feelings for each other when I was 15 to 16yo (no official relationship
) aka my face began looking better and more grown because of pubertythanks test. At that moment we were lovey dovey together, she made me pancakes, hugged me, she layed her head on my shoulder, she even wanted to kiss me but I refused cause of my neurodivergence(made me cringe kissing and being physical at that time, why did I refuse ) sitting on me blahblah you know the deal.She also started to look better and better (on the vid she was like a 15yo hMtb and at 17yo she was like an low to mid Htb).
At that moment I knew she was looking at others guys(dates and shi) but I didn't care. Why? Because they were spending money on expensive gifts and foods while I didn't do jack shit to be with her
. These guys were like a year or 2 older then Chiara (bruh they were like 3 to 4 years older then me ) with cars, dada's money you name it. At that time,when she was in her 18s, she got out of boarding school, we were still in contact via Snapchat but one day..........SHE BLOCKED ME
AT that moment I was dooming, I was already kinda blackpilled since I was 12 but this was eye opening. I NEEDED to look better or I would get stuck and cursed with Mtb pussy cheese for the rest of my life while coping. I wasn't really that big of a looksmaxxer, I only did orthodontics(some kind of jaw expander idk how it's called, palate expender and braces), orthotropics (RIP John Mew, you saved my life
). I got my sleep right (prior I slept like shit a solid 6-7 hours) and got my protein and milk intake good, got my posture right and tried stretching to grow taller. I knew she blocked because a guy told her so (she did that one day when I was 15 but I finessed my way into her deblocking me and blocking that older guy, bro got cucked by a lil kid). This experience anchored my view on looksmaxxing and BP, could I get a relationship with a girl if I was a Mtn, poor, living in the slums of the suburbs of Paris
. To get a girl that is minimum Htb (below hMtb I only see them as NPC, great to be friends or fuck buddy), I needed to compete with men that are more fortunate then me in terms of looks and height and also older. After that I never talked with a girl the same way.This is me at 15(ts is the only picture where I looked decent
):As of now I'm 18yo LDARing ,a NEET,fat and in depression since the start of 2025. I made this account because I want to share some infos(probably don't count me on that) ,laugh with you guys and most Importantly I want to lock in and ascend. I'm repeating a grade because of my depression
(didn't go to 1/3 of my classes and didn't did finals exams, was still accepted in medecine, chemestry and most Uni that I applied). I don't have any other pic of her cause I'm not a creep(she also deleted all her socials (religion I think idk)and got plastic surgery ,last time I've seen her she kinda look like an 92i or Talahon whatever) and I don't have any pics of me cause I'm not satisfied enough of my appearence to share it to you
I'll consider doing some PEDs like low dose of Anavar, low dose of Tren ,any Ai and some Gh secretagogue (kinda cope tho)
Anyways this is my first post on any looksmaxxing forum, tell me if it's good for a newcomer.
ts took me like 3 to 4hours but now I got the hang of it
but it's unlikely tbh
