eyeareaa
Iron
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2026
- Posts
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- 68
Context:
As many of you may or may not know me and 2 of my friends not too long ago found orb and I reached out to him telling him how we found him and a lot of other shit I’m not gonna get into since it’s not really relevant and some of it I can’t speak about for his safety. He sent a message to me which I posted on tiktok after I asked him if I had permission to post it to maybe give out some advice to people in the community and it got a shit load of views and he followed up by saying he’ll give a better response
Today the orb you guys all know has sent me a response which is specifically meant for the people in the community who are suffering with mental health and struggling dealing with the blackpill and its ideology. Anyone who has been keeping up with my posts on tiktok know I’ve been talking about waiting for his response and now it’s here, feel free to do whatever you want with this message and if you are someone struggling with mental health issues I suggest reading this and seeking professional help or if you’re just a follower of orb this might be something you are interested in reading.
Today the orb you guys all know has sent me a response which is specifically meant for the people in the community who are suffering with mental health and struggling dealing with the blackpill and its ideology. Anyone who has been keeping up with my posts on tiktok know I’ve been talking about waiting for his response and now it’s here, feel free to do whatever you want with this message and if you are someone struggling with mental health issues I suggest reading this and seeking professional help or if you’re just a follower of orb this might be something you are interested in reading.
A Message From orb/ irkedphaggot :)
Hi there,
Excuse my late reply. I have been trying to write something for the community but it has been difficult to get it to come out right. I was unsure about sending this email because my message might come across as grandiose or patronising; nobody is asking for my help and I may not be the right person to give it. I'm not an authority on any of this and I'm still working through my own issues. My words will not be relevant to many of the people in the community, but I've concluded that if I can positively impact anyone due to my experiences in this area of life, then it is surely worth me trying to.
Getting black-pilled is like falling down a hole. It's dark and lonely in the hole, but it's also safe and familiar. We might have learned at a young age that we couldn't get our needs for love met, and so, on some level, it was safer to give up than to keep getting hurt. Climbing out of the hole means experiencing rejection, abandonment, disappointment and all of life's pressures and responsibilities. It means facing one's pain and working through it. It's pretty rational therefore to stay inside the hole, wrapped in protective hopelessness. I was down there for 10 years.
I think that on some level we all know what we 'should' do. Maybe it's quitting porn or scrolling. Maybe it's being brave enough to talk to people, make friends and go on dates, despite not liking how we look. There's always a next step and we always have a choice about how to respond to life. Sometimes we only have the power to do something really small, and that's fine, because doing our best is all we can do. If we choose to do the scary but 'right' thing, we will be rewarded with a slightly more beautiful and open life. If we refuse our opportunities then we stay in the hole. Both options are painful in their own way.
The cost of staying in the hole is regret. We're happiest when we're expanding and living life to the fullest, which means experiencing the edge of our comfort zones. We all eventually learn that the pain of regret is far worse than the pain of trying and failing. Some people (me) need to learn that the hard way.
Something happens along the way where our 'shoulds' can become really heavy. We get crushed under the weight of expectations and responsibilities. There's a way to change those 'shoulds' into 'wants'. 'I should work on myself because I'm not good enough' becomes 'I want to grow and connect because it feels good'. The way to get there is to process and feel more deeply into our emotions, both negative and positive. Doing this clears the gunk out of the system, and we become so much more sensitive and clear about our wants and how to find the right path forward. It's hard to explain if you've not experienced it, but life just gets easier and easier the more we clear ourselves up. After getting super angry and letting the rage flow through, we find ourselves suddenly determined and inspired. After grieving and sinking into the pain of never fitting in, we find ourselves lightening up and joking around with others. After feeling our deep want for romantic love, we become less needy and can flow more easily with the people we are interested in.
Our pain is like a stinky pool festering inside us. Every time we feel into the discomfort, we drain some of the wretchedness out -little by little- until it's all clear and empty inside. Disturbances will still arise, but they'll just come and go like the clouds, because they're not getting stuck inside us any more.
There's so much joy in negative emotions. When they come up, feel into them as deeply as you can. There is so much beauty in having your heart broken or losing a connection. The pure pain is life itself. There is a deep aliveness in the rage and hatred burning through you as you get betrayed and abandoned. Every time we feel into the emotion we are dissolving away our stored pain. And that's the trick: learning to enjoy that pain, because by doing that we know we are cleansing our essence. One day you will get to a point where you genuinely look forward to getting your heart broken, and then you are truly free. Life hurts and you will relish in it; it is all beautiful.
Addictions are a way we avoid pain. If you want to experience some hurt so you can level up, cease an addictive pattern so that you can feel through what you’ve been avoiding.
The final stage is learning to enjoy ourselves and our development. 'How can I enjoy this moment 5% more?' Is a useful question to ask throughout the day. We can learn to relax into and enjoy our tasks more thoroughly, and that enjoyment serves as better fuel than the stress and insecurity that we default to.
As we progress on this emotional path, we learn that surface emotions are protecting us from deep hurt. The apathy is covering up the rage, which is covering up the grief, which is covering up the shame. When we feel anger for our situation it uncovers the devastation of not being loved the way we need to be. We think we want to be good looking, but really we want love and authentic connection.
We might look at ourselves and feel ugly. But really what we are experiencing in this moment is the wound of not having love. The more this feeling is felt into and drained, the less heavy it becomes. One day, you'll look in the mirror and you won't see something ugly. Just like a cat or a dog can't be ugly; some might look weird or different, but they're just cute in their own way. One day you'll look in the mirror and just see a person who is cute in their own way.
__________________
Exercises:
Here are some questions for you. Don't tell me your answers, but use them as a tool for inquiry. Maybe say them aloud or get a friend to ask them to you. Ask yourself the question, and then ask yourself questions about your answer. You're not trying to solve your problems here, but to get more curious about what is happening within you.
1. Complete the sentence: 'It is really important for me to believe I am ugly, because if I'm not ugly, then ___ '
See what comes up for you when you keep asking yourself this.
This question made me realise that if I wasn't ugly then I would have to live life fully, and that's scary. By believing in my ugliness I keep myself free from responsibilities and from trying and failing. I can just rot and chill and not worry about anything.
Once you have some answers, ask yourself some questions about what you have found. Eg:
-> What would happen if I continue to avoid failure?
-> How can I be ok with failing?
-> What are some ways I can practise failing?
-> What is scary about responsibility?
2. Complete the sentence: 'It's really important for me to obsess over my appearance, because if I don't, then ____'
This question made me realise that if I didn't obsess over my appearance then I would feel out of control. Being out of control feels unsafe and I don't like it.
-> How can I be ok with not being in control?
-> What are some ways I can practise being out of my comfort zone?
3. 'It's really important for me to be attractive. Because if I'm not, then__'
My answer:
I won't be loved. I will always be alone.
-> How can I be loved for who I really am?
-> What could I do to connect with more people?
-> How can I give love to myself?
-> How can I be ok even when I don't love myself?
-> How can I be 5% happier right now?
Here are some more. Ask yourself the questions and then ask yourself questions about your answers:
4. Someone waves a magic wand and you no longer care about your appearance or have any insecurity about it at all. How does this new freedom feel? Is there anything negative about it?
5. I want to be beautiful because____
6. What's great about being unattractive is ___
7. What are the times in my life when I have felt the most ugly? What do these times have in common?
________________
I don't know if it's really possible to help anyone via email, but I've tried my best here. I wish anyone reading this the strength to feel their pain and to meet life, in all its difficulty, with an open heart. Remember that there's no rush to change; everybody has their own path and walks at their own pace. Everyone here is worthy of love. It sucks that some of us have such difficult paths to walk, but the love we get to feel on the other side of it makes it all worth it. It's not really the love from others that we need, but the love from ourselves. Please have faith that the more love you can give to yourself, the more others will come in to share in your love. I hope you will give yourself some of that love right now.
Good luck and god bless
You are more important than you know.The two people who helped me with finding him are @irkedphaggott and @jpbrahhh on tiktok,
This is orb now for the people who may have doubt about this post, might not be the most convincing to some but I’m not really here to try and convince you it’s him.
some are obviously old, other media I will not be sharing, I mean I already regret posting them but it’s already out there and some idiots already got a hold it and claimed they found orbs “instagram” lol I’ll let people believe he’s roaming on Insta I don’t really care.
