why do i have to be tortured like this? what have i done wrong to be so undesirable? (1 Viewer)

[lewanay]

my own mother who is supposed to be the only woman that truly loves me is the one who laughs at my ugliness. she jokes about my facial insecurities. my family joins in too. they dont know how horrible ive been feeling as long as i can remember. i dont utter a word to them or anyone about it because, who would care. i am ugly so this is the life i am punished to. these teenage years were meant to be my most enjoyable years of my life but instead i sit at the mirror with tears rolling down my face crying at how much better my life could’ve been if i had just looked better at the age of 15. i did nothing wrong at birth to deserve such a face but i am punished by people like my own family about it. i cant believe i ever used to see suicide as stupid. and if it only goes downhill from these years as a teenager i dont see why i should endure the torment after adulthood. unless somehow it gets better. but until then i am forced to suffer truly alone. i am horribly lonely. and theres nothing i can do about it.

until i can, all i can do is suffer.

 

[lewanay]

if for some reason i cant get surgery when im older i will definitely consider the rope

 

[Dysregulated]

i dont utter a word to them or anyone about it because, who would care.

I would, I'm always here for you bhai.

 

[lewanay]

I would, I'm always here for you bhai.

i appreciate it but no amount of talking would make me look better. i also dont want to burden you more knowing your current situation

 

[Dysregulated]

i appreciate it but no amount of talking would make me look better. i also dont want to burden you more knowing your current situation

It's no burden, I'm offering. Talking won't solve your issues, but it could make you feel just a bit better and that's more than enough.

 

[lewanay]

It's no burden, I'm offering. Talking won't solve your issues, but it could make you feel just a bit better and that's more than enough.

ive been feeling so horrible for so long but dont do anything about it because i dont want anyone irl to know about my struggles. maybe therapy but i dont want my family to find out. theyll eventually use it against me. and my friends dont relate and cant help anyways. so im stuck hoping all my problems will go away soon or when i get surgery when older hopefully

 

[lewanay]

watch me come back in the morning re reading this and feeling like a loser for admitting this

 

[Dysregulated]

ive been feeling so horrible for so long but dont do anything about it because i dont want anyone irl to know about my struggles. maybe therapy but i dont want my family to find out. theyll eventually use it against me. and my friends dont relate and cant help anyways. so im stuck hoping all my problems will go away soon or when i get surgery when older hopefully

What matters the most is right now, BDD doesn't go away over night and you have to work really hard to feel better. Sadly for most people it doesn't go away fully, you'll still have good and bad days.

watch me come back in the morning re reading this and feeling like a loser for admitting this

You can dm me if that's more comfortable

 

[lewanay]

What matters the most is right now, BDD doesn't go away over night and you have to work really hard to feel better. Sadly for most people it doesn't go away fully, you'll still have good and bad days.

You can dm me if that's more comfortable

whats bdd
also ill just sleep on it and hope i wake up feeling better tomorrow. probably wont

 

[Dysregulated]

whats bdd

Body dysmorphia

also ill just sleep on it and hope i wake up feeling better tomorrow. probably wont

You can dm me anytime

 

[Skull]

my own mother who is supposed to be the only woman that truly loves me is the one who laughs at my ugliness. she jokes about my facial insecurities. my family joins in too. they dont know how horrible ive been feeling as long as i can remember. i dont utter a word to them or anyone about it because, who would care. i am ugly so this is the life i am punished to. these teenage years were meant to be my most enjoyable years of my life but instead i sit at the mirror with tears rolling down my face crying at how much better my life could’ve been if i had just looked better at the age of 15. i did nothing wrong at birth to deserve such a face but i am punished by people like my own family about it. i cant believe i ever used to see suicide as stupid. and if it only goes downhill from these years as a teenager i dont see why i should endure the torment after adulthood. unless somehow it gets better. but until then i am forced to suffer truly alone. i am horribly lonely. and theres nothing i can do about it.

until i can, all i can do is suffer.

man.

 

[lewanay]

Body dysmorphia

You can dm me anytime

i truly do appreciate it

 

[Skull]

Holy ur moms bp pilled asf

 

[lewanay]

man crying really does help a little for me, i feel a tiny bit better but its barely noticeable

 

[Skull]

It’s a joke calm ur tits

and we all laughed, right?

 

[lewanay]

Plus this thread is just screaming “give me attention”

what can i do with these guys’ attention?? nothing.

 

[lewanay]

you’re venting on a looksmaxing forum get real

i dont know where else to vent, people here can relate and not judge as much as if i said it irl