Ugh
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2026
- Posts
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Ill start by saying this is my first post on any forum ever so let me know how I do.
Im gonna post about looksmaxing and some steroid shit i'm planning later, but for now here's this.
Be me, 18 y.o 5'10 white averagecel.
2 older sisters, one 21y.o normie we'll call S (golden child) and one 23 y.o complete fuck up we'll call E( emo, dropped out of college, been in psych ward multiple times for eating disorder and other bullshit, always finds a way to fuck up)
- Start of family events at around 1 pm, everything is going smoothly I'm hanging out with fam and even dip off to smoke weed with E. We do this regularly at family events, something S does not approve of at all. S barley talks to E and generally views her as a outcast / nuisance, as does the rest of the family but parents are much more "understanding" (tolerant) of E and her antics.
_ Dinner started around 5pm, I am essentially the family jester so I just began talking bullshit and cracking jokes like usual, I was even getting laughed at by S and parents because of SNL looksmaxxing skits and mainstream clav clips S has seen, ie. tiptoe and by urself max . E is being classic retard, S mentions normie show heated rivalry and E talks about how the show fetishizes gay men but "all representation is good representation" E claims bisexual but has only dated tall, attractive dudes lol.
_ Anyway, after dinner is where this story really gets interesting. After dinner my mom had planned an egg hunt, ik completely ridiculous seeing our grown ass ages, but it was 2 eggs for each person and they each had 20 bucks inside (classic white people shit). During this egg hunt S easily finds both her eggs and just me and E are left searching. Given that im a low effort hikikomori and E is just a retard, (I found both of Es eggs easily, mine were likely hid the hardest bc like I said, jester) ... we ended up giving up after a bit. At this point in the story I think its important to mention this "egg hunt" was inside of our regular sized living room, so were in a contained space not an open field or even a backyard like you may have been thinking.
_ E says something lame regarding us giving up easily, I honestly cant remember what exactly it was but if i had to guess It would probably be something like "we dont like working hard brooo" E is gen z but all the time me and S say she is like a millennial. Regardless, not too crazy of a thing to say but I don't believe my response was too crazy of a thing to do, but here is where you will have to let me know. I know it might sound crazy but this is something I do like relatively often and S says is normal brother shit, S even sent me a tiktok about it one time so keep that in mind ( and if you have sisters let me know if you do this also). I shadow boxed in her face lmao VERY BREIFLY, all I did was throw one spinning kick THAT DID NOT CONNECT it was basically just a spin where I stuck my leg out, it was at like her mid section level but again was A FOOT AWAY. After that, because I had moved forward while doing the kick motion me and E are close to each other (Not to be a complete weirdo but like kissing range, no I don't want to kiss my sister). Im looking E in the eyes and I still think were playing a game atp so I put my hand up like you would to block a punch. This is when I see the bitch eyes go complete cold, and also where story recounts begin to fracture. E claims that when I threw the kick or when I put my hand up I uppercutted her with my elbow, I honestly did not feel that at all, but it totally could've happened. Never the less, nothing could warrant the bitch next steps. Before I know it, while still maintaining eye contact (no ones moved yet) E sputters something thats probably not even captionable just like a (oh(surprised) ,that shifted to like Uhh(angry)). And then proceeds to lunge at me, keep in mind my whole family is watching this btw.
_ Im not sure exactly how the choreography of this battle unfolded, but here's my best attempt at a recount. I tried to ask S for a play by play but she could not provide lol. First she lunges at me after whatever noise she made and begins her attack, I think these were mostly like left, right open hand slaps, like a spas type attack. I'm honestly not sure if I dodged these or they were just doing 0 damage but either way I had backed up probably like 3-4 steps atp. This is where she changes attacks and lands her big blow, a closed fist punch directly to my nose. I've been in minimal fights over the years maybe 3 my whole life mostly in like middle school so I hadn't been hit in a while. Needless to say the bitch clobbered my shit and i'm a complete swollencel as I write this. I don't think its broken, but she definitely left a mark.
_ For those of you wondering no I did not hit her back. Id be lying if i said it wasn't my first instinct and maybe I'm just a pussy but I don't think it would be ideal to hit her , because like what best case scenario I spark her with one? then we got new issues. Anyway, directly after the fight I remained chill, I think I said something like "you just punched me in face". And then other people began to chine in I think my mom said something along the lines of "why did you do that" although I'm unable to really confirm the amount of emotion / tone that was put into it. However what I do know is at this point E starts absolutely BUGGING, big sobbing crying while trying to mention the aforementioned elbow situation. This part reminded me of like a cornered guy with a knife "dont come any closer" headahh Jit. There was some more conversation during this, however I don't really remember what was said as I was tending to my tears at this time (NATURAL REACTION BTW) . I think there was like a "who started it" argument going on, but all I know was E is screaming, crying and in full on tweak mode.
_ After all that, E runs upstairs to retrieve her shit and is gonna dip (I don't think I mentioned it yet but I'm the only kid that still lives at home, both sisters drove an hour for this lol) After she comes back down the stairs, she shadowboxes in my face to make a point and says something like "you're always doing this shit". At that same time I start to come back to reality, no I was not knocked out lol, just surprised she really decked my shit. I mentioned earlier I'm the family jester, however I am also just the most vocal in general, so when she got in my face I said something like "you need to back off before you get hurt", I feel bad for this but dude was wilding. After that, there were a few more words said, E said " yeah always defending your baby boy" to my mom then I said "she is always defending your ass because you act like this at 23" (she is still crying, like toddler temper tantrum during this). Then she was gone, went out to her car and my dad followed. They talked for like 45 minutes then she left. I haven't talked to my dad since then so honestly idk where he stands on it.
_ S and my mom are on my side, however I do feel like a piece of shit and I totally ruined easter lmfao. I guess you probably shouldn't shadowbox in peoples faces, but at the same time her reaction was not warranted imo, but again let me know your opinions in the replies. Anyhow, in terms of resolutions If you were rooting for me you'll be happy to hear that during all the chaos I managed to snatch both her eggs and now i'm up $80. If you wanted the happy ending I texted her after when she got home and we "made up", honestly I think the craziest part is that even I didn't send that text ( I reached out and apologized first), literally nothing would've changed, shit would've been completely normal next time we saw each other I'm sure.
Let me know what you think of the post or if you gaf or anything. Was it too long? also i have a bunch more stories like this if people care to hear. Overall. Let me know.
I ALSO THINK ITS IMPORTANT TO MENTION E IS NOT DOWN SYNDROME OR ANYTHING SHE WAS NORMAL IN HIGH SHCOOL BUT HAS BEEN BUGGING SINCE
Im gonna post about looksmaxing and some steroid shit i'm planning later, but for now here's this.
Be me, 18 y.o 5'10 white averagecel.
2 older sisters, one 21y.o normie we'll call S (golden child) and one 23 y.o complete fuck up we'll call E( emo, dropped out of college, been in psych ward multiple times for eating disorder and other bullshit, always finds a way to fuck up)
- Start of family events at around 1 pm, everything is going smoothly I'm hanging out with fam and even dip off to smoke weed with E. We do this regularly at family events, something S does not approve of at all. S barley talks to E and generally views her as a outcast / nuisance, as does the rest of the family but parents are much more "understanding" (tolerant) of E and her antics.
_ Dinner started around 5pm, I am essentially the family jester so I just began talking bullshit and cracking jokes like usual, I was even getting laughed at by S and parents because of SNL looksmaxxing skits and mainstream clav clips S has seen, ie. tiptoe and by urself max . E is being classic retard, S mentions normie show heated rivalry and E talks about how the show fetishizes gay men but "all representation is good representation" E claims bisexual but has only dated tall, attractive dudes lol.
_ Anyway, after dinner is where this story really gets interesting. After dinner my mom had planned an egg hunt, ik completely ridiculous seeing our grown ass ages, but it was 2 eggs for each person and they each had 20 bucks inside (classic white people shit). During this egg hunt S easily finds both her eggs and just me and E are left searching. Given that im a low effort hikikomori and E is just a retard, (I found both of Es eggs easily, mine were likely hid the hardest bc like I said, jester) ... we ended up giving up after a bit. At this point in the story I think its important to mention this "egg hunt" was inside of our regular sized living room, so were in a contained space not an open field or even a backyard like you may have been thinking.
_ E says something lame regarding us giving up easily, I honestly cant remember what exactly it was but if i had to guess It would probably be something like "we dont like working hard brooo" E is gen z but all the time me and S say she is like a millennial. Regardless, not too crazy of a thing to say but I don't believe my response was too crazy of a thing to do, but here is where you will have to let me know. I know it might sound crazy but this is something I do like relatively often and S says is normal brother shit, S even sent me a tiktok about it one time so keep that in mind ( and if you have sisters let me know if you do this also). I shadow boxed in her face lmao VERY BREIFLY, all I did was throw one spinning kick THAT DID NOT CONNECT it was basically just a spin where I stuck my leg out, it was at like her mid section level but again was A FOOT AWAY. After that, because I had moved forward while doing the kick motion me and E are close to each other (Not to be a complete weirdo but like kissing range, no I don't want to kiss my sister). Im looking E in the eyes and I still think were playing a game atp so I put my hand up like you would to block a punch. This is when I see the bitch eyes go complete cold, and also where story recounts begin to fracture. E claims that when I threw the kick or when I put my hand up I uppercutted her with my elbow, I honestly did not feel that at all, but it totally could've happened. Never the less, nothing could warrant the bitch next steps. Before I know it, while still maintaining eye contact (no ones moved yet) E sputters something thats probably not even captionable just like a (oh(surprised) ,that shifted to like Uhh(angry)). And then proceeds to lunge at me, keep in mind my whole family is watching this btw.
_ Im not sure exactly how the choreography of this battle unfolded, but here's my best attempt at a recount. I tried to ask S for a play by play but she could not provide lol. First she lunges at me after whatever noise she made and begins her attack, I think these were mostly like left, right open hand slaps, like a spas type attack. I'm honestly not sure if I dodged these or they were just doing 0 damage but either way I had backed up probably like 3-4 steps atp. This is where she changes attacks and lands her big blow, a closed fist punch directly to my nose. I've been in minimal fights over the years maybe 3 my whole life mostly in like middle school so I hadn't been hit in a while. Needless to say the bitch clobbered my shit and i'm a complete swollencel as I write this. I don't think its broken, but she definitely left a mark.
_ For those of you wondering no I did not hit her back. Id be lying if i said it wasn't my first instinct and maybe I'm just a pussy but I don't think it would be ideal to hit her , because like what best case scenario I spark her with one? then we got new issues. Anyway, directly after the fight I remained chill, I think I said something like "you just punched me in face". And then other people began to chine in I think my mom said something along the lines of "why did you do that" although I'm unable to really confirm the amount of emotion / tone that was put into it. However what I do know is at this point E starts absolutely BUGGING, big sobbing crying while trying to mention the aforementioned elbow situation. This part reminded me of like a cornered guy with a knife "dont come any closer" headahh Jit. There was some more conversation during this, however I don't really remember what was said as I was tending to my tears at this time (NATURAL REACTION BTW) . I think there was like a "who started it" argument going on, but all I know was E is screaming, crying and in full on tweak mode.
_ After all that, E runs upstairs to retrieve her shit and is gonna dip (I don't think I mentioned it yet but I'm the only kid that still lives at home, both sisters drove an hour for this lol) After she comes back down the stairs, she shadowboxes in my face to make a point and says something like "you're always doing this shit". At that same time I start to come back to reality, no I was not knocked out lol, just surprised she really decked my shit. I mentioned earlier I'm the family jester, however I am also just the most vocal in general, so when she got in my face I said something like "you need to back off before you get hurt", I feel bad for this but dude was wilding. After that, there were a few more words said, E said " yeah always defending your baby boy" to my mom then I said "she is always defending your ass because you act like this at 23" (she is still crying, like toddler temper tantrum during this). Then she was gone, went out to her car and my dad followed. They talked for like 45 minutes then she left. I haven't talked to my dad since then so honestly idk where he stands on it.
_ S and my mom are on my side, however I do feel like a piece of shit and I totally ruined easter lmfao. I guess you probably shouldn't shadowbox in peoples faces, but at the same time her reaction was not warranted imo, but again let me know your opinions in the replies. Anyhow, in terms of resolutions If you were rooting for me you'll be happy to hear that during all the chaos I managed to snatch both her eggs and now i'm up $80. If you wanted the happy ending I texted her after when she got home and we "made up", honestly I think the craziest part is that even I didn't send that text ( I reached out and apologized first), literally nothing would've changed, shit would've been completely normal next time we saw each other I'm sure.
Let me know what you think of the post or if you gaf or anything. Was it too long? also i have a bunch more stories like this if people care to hear. Overall. Let me know.
I ALSO THINK ITS IMPORTANT TO MENTION E IS NOT DOWN SYNDROME OR ANYTHING SHE WAS NORMAL IN HIGH SHCOOL BUT HAS BEEN BUGGING SINCE

